Everywhere A Sign
Unlike Les Emmerson (of the Canadian "Five Man Electrical Band") I do have a real appreciation for signs--though I do take his point! Emerson saw the lyrics to "Sign" as a metaphor for the difficult times the band was going through. I see signs as an interesting contrast between, and commentary on, various cultures.
Take this sign:
I spotted it in central Illinois at a strip mall. Can you imagine?? Well, I couldn't being from the west coast. I immediately had several thoughts run through my mind:
a. doesn't this verge on the not-in-good-taste side of things?
b. Bible publishing is such a large industry in the south and midwest that they have enough "seconds" to fill stores?
c. I would have assumed that Bibles are important enough to those who are interested in a purchase that they wouldn't want a "second;"
d. What are some examples of Bible "seconds?"
And, then some notions (that border on ridiculous) ran through my brain.... What if:
-Genesis was missing? some folks would just not be equipped to argue Creation v. Evolution
-the printing error was extreme, e.g./ printed backwards, upside down -- would the Moral Majority maintain that these were Satanic?
-how would folks view Mary, Mother of Jesus if the printing error(s) included the first chapter of the Gospel of Luke? or some of the early prophesies?
I would maintain that it is pretty important to have one's Bible intact. But, I did some research and found an amazing 73 of these Bible Factory Outlets in the south and midwest! Whodathunkit? Of course, my husband patiently explained the probable function of these stores--but I like my thoughts waaaaaay better.
Okay, now contrast the midwest sign to one from British Columbia--interestingly, in an area known as the "Bible Belt" of the Fraser Valley:
Signs make nice souvenirs!
Here are two teachers from B.C.who are thrilled with the idea of being in exotic locales (hey! to people like us, Chicago and Indy are exotic), and who also do not mind standing beside a busy highway to have their picture taken.
posted by cyn @ 1:07 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Also, as I've said before, you ought to consider writing on your own. My dear, your blog writing is sooo Dave Barry; but illustrated!
Too many chuckle-points to list.
The bible factory outlet sign is classic! I confess that I'd forgotten about the 'factory seconds' aspect; I've grown so used to seeing (or not seeing, if you know what I mean) mega-mall outlets that I come to think of them as just another source of cheap made-in-china-ware. But even that conjures up images....is it tacky to outsource Biblemaking to China or good business sense combined w. a great opportunity for converting the heathen? "Made in China by Devout (and Persecuted) Believers" Wouldn't that make you buy one? (even tho' they'd probably be Fa Lun Gong believers) But your idea of factory seconds ('slight imperfections') is tantalizing. 9 1/2 Commandments? The Eleven Apostles - and one of them a midget ('scuse me -'little person')? Or maybe a crossdresser (Matthew, Mark, Luke and Joan)? Or maybe Mary was a virgin in the same way Clinton was not an adulterer? Just think, every 'jot and tittle' capable of becoming tits and jottles or jits and tottles...it's enough to make me feel all jabberwocky.
Forgive me for waxing (mostly) solemn for a moment, but I'm thinking that my Dearest's recent posts to our BLOG, entitled "Divine Intervention" and "Signs", are topically limkked.
Superlegalism on the sabbath, and mall-profiteering in His name (after all, Christ is DEFINATELY public domain after all these years), are not such different issues. Here in Lafayette, many Fundamentalist Christians (a label I wear in the literal sense, BTW), selectively do business with retailers that are closed on Sundays. Very nice. These same siblings in Christ frequent giftshops charging double or triple value for plastic, tin or silicon items, just because said items bear HIS name, machine-stamped upon them. These retailers do indeed display a dozen or so shelved and dusty books, but print is proven dead. What say we buy Aunt Denise that paperweight with the judgemental inscription? Hey, grab that t-shirt that flaunts inflamatory sloganism! Oh, look! A sterling coated and wire wrapped fancy-pants cross-necklace! Little cousin Jane can wear that while she waits tables at Hooters! (yes, Lafayette sports a church on every other block, one Hooters, and three four-bars.)
True story: an 18 year-old stripper who relied upon liquid courage in order to fulfill her employment contract (in Indiana you can strip at 18 but, cannot imbibe until 21), ran a red-light and t-boned my step-daughter at a nearby intersection.
With priorties muddled by convience, and motives mandating materialism, "Bible Factory Outlet" signs in the United States are not only rationalized, they're subculturally alluring!
"Christianity" is an evaporating demographic in this country, and my panicking brethern have no-idea-why.
I guess they cant read the "Signs".
Can you say, poetic justice?
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