Stiltskins Try to Save a Buck

by C. MacKinnon-Morris

In the previous post, I spoke of the expenses accrued for the Stiltskins' night out in Chicago. Well, the expenses began to accumulate in the afternoon. Driving into Chicago is an event in itself--it is a pretty big city for a country girl to be driving around--but hey! I am game for anything--besides I enjoy the speeds that most cars are driving at (damn the speed limit signs, damn the oil shortage--yippee turbo-charged Subaru!).

We had to travel many different 'highways' (that are 6-10 lanes wide) and these highways all have tolls. Five bucks lighter, we pulled into the parking lot at United Center only to pay a $20 fee (another thing that blows my mind is the cost of parking in Chicago--the downtown parkades are one big cash cow for someone--last summer we paid $12 for a 20 minute park). Once into the arena, it was another $20 for popcorn and beer. Then of course, the drive home and more tolls.

Now, I must admit that I've driven to Chicago several times--to O'Hare and Midway mostly. And, I have to confess that Saturday was not my first time driving through a toll booth on I80/94 (why do they insist on sharing one roadway between 2 or more interstates? I80/ 94 /294 /B /Ace Street /118th Avenue /Gramma's Lane / <---just kidding). I drove up to the first toll booth and Scott scrambled for change. We thought we had plenty, but the tolls have doubled since October. At 70 mph I make my way up and then the road widens to accommodate all the cars. There is a sign. Phew.

Now, I must admit that this photo is not mine and though it bears some resemblance, i.e./ the signage, there is one major and important difference. This particular toll booth we went through did not have advance signage--just those immediately above the booths themselves.

I am not sure whether the signs are legible, but here is a run-down:

Cars Only Left Lane
Automatic
Manual

Well, at 70 mph and slowing, my mind raced over the possibilities:
Automatic? must be if one has a pass; no good.
Manual? nope, we have the correct change OR does manual mean, throw in your correct change manually (as opposed to having a vehicle outfitted with automatic toll booth mechanism)? decisions, decisions.
That left only one clear option.
I am driving a car. Must mean I go through Cars Only Left Lane.
Why aren't more cars in this lane?
Why is there only one lane for people with correct change?
Don't people usually bring correct change? You'd think there would be more commuters than tourists on this highway (those who are surprised by the toll and haven't correct change).
All these thoughts were running through my mind--in the space of 10 seconds.

AHA! exclaims Scott--here is your 80 cents! Correct change in fist, I follow the line of traffic.

Hmmm, aren't we going a mite fast to stop and throw our coins in the bucket.....OH-NO!

It was at that very second that the sign (which I was now underneath) flashed before my mind's eye. The word "PASS" had another meaning!
And, with an "oh-ohhhhhhhhhh" I blew straight through that toll booth.

Fearing sirens and lights and police cars...I kept driving. Quickly. Checked with Scott (who had been busy with change, I must remind the reader) and ascertained that indeed, that left lane is for passholders. Explained why there was only one of them. Also explained the speed with which we drove through. Oh well, must be strong and persevere. We went through the next 7 toll booths without incident.

It was the 8th that got us into more trouble. On the way home, we got caught in some nasty traffic jams (at 11pm!); Scott was driving this time and he noticed that we were low on gas. Now, gas prices in Chicago are about 26cents/ gallon higher than Indiana so we crossed our fingers and headed for the border. We drove through the final toll booth and then decided we needed gas asap. Pulled off the freeway and gassed up. Then pulled back on. Another toll booth loomed ahead! We had just paid to drive on that freeway, not quite a mile back! Plus there were other dilemmas:
a. We had long run out of change and had to go through the Manual booth for the last 2 tolls (I learned that Manual means hand paper money to man and man hands you back change). This particular booth did not offer options. No man in booth. No change. We were stopped.
b. A car drove up behind us. No fancy wooden arm at the booth, only a red/ green light. We blew the toll booth and this time, the sirens did wail (at least in my head) and the lights did flash!!! Holy Lips! And, off to Indiana we did race.

Apparently, Scott says, that posted somewhere at those unmanned toll-booths, are signs that say that if you don't have the $$ call this number. Hello?
a. if you don't have a phone in your car, you do....what?
b. this sign is posted...where?
c. should one see the sign, one is supposed to stop all traffic behind from passing (there are no shoulders or "Pull Off Here if you encounter problems locating pen and paper"), scramble around in car and purses to locate something to write with, find a scrap of paper and write the number down???

Hindsight is great...I coulda taken out a lipstick and scrawled the number on the windshield, except I never saw a number and I'm not sure I have a lipstick. Anyhowwwww, we fully expect a couple letters from I-DOT this next week, containing our car's mugshot. Bad Car. Bad!